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The Truth about Self Love : 3 TIPS to Mindful Self-Compassion.

Updated: Dec 3, 2021

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Three tips on How mindful self-compassion can change your life

Self-compassion has a similar history as mindfulness in that it existed in Eastern philosophy for over 2,000 years. However, it is a relatively new concept in Western research and practice (Neff 2003).

What is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion is related to the general definition of compassion. People with compassion are touched by the suffering of others. They can open their awareness to other people’s pain enabling feelings of kindness toward others. Compassionate people also desire to alleviate suffering.

Self-compassion is showing oneself positive self-regard at all times, but especially when faced with life challenges. It is considered that compassion involves three components (Neff,2003).

  1. kindness,

  2. common humanity

  3. aspects of mindfulness

Neff (2003) points out that kindness is about understanding oneself and others. It is about not judging oneself or others, particularly during times of weakness, pain, or failure. used together with Mindful awareness is used to perceive one’s thoughts and emotions, enabling individuals to avoid acting upon their negative thoughts and feelings.

The Mindful Self-compassion Remedy

When suffering from feelings of inadequacy, failure, emotional pain, and suffering, it is easy to get overwhelmed, which may cause physical illness.

Our human existence consists of unexpected events, social conflict, fatigue, bodily ailments, problem-solving that contribute to or cause those stressors.

Mindfulness and self-compassion together have proven to benefit individuals in dealing with everyday stressors and problems. Further, mindful self-compassion may assist people to recover from psychological and emotional disorders.

Understanding the potential value of mindful compassion research has found that individuals are more resilient through challenging times. In addition, Self-compassion has close links to self-worth and aspects of emotional intelligence.

Self-compassion has similar outcomes to self-esteem(Neff, 2003). However, a significant difference between self-compassion and self-esteem is that self-compassionate individuals do not experience some of the pitfalls of self-esteem.


One of the pitfalls of self-esteem is that it can be subject to changing moods. For example, if one regards oneself negatively when failing a task, their mood may become low. Conversely, however, they may experience a high mood when excelling at a task. Thus, self-esteem can be boosted by not facing one’s inadequacies and denying that they exist.

In contrast, self-compassionate people can accept negative aspects of themselves and take responsibility for addressing problems. They do not need to hide painful truths about themselves to maintain positive self-regard, which is often the case in self-esteem.

It appears that self-compassionate individuals tend to be more aware of and capable of addressing problems, resilient through difficulties and improving their skill set.

Three tips to attain Self-compassion and why it is important

Forgiveness means accepting what has happened and the behaviours and being willing to move on without worrying about things that cannot be controlled or changed. The below method suggests that four key actions can help you to forgive yourself.

The 4 R’s of Self-Forgiveness

  1. Responsibility

  2. Remorse

  3. Restoration

  4. Renewal

Forgiving oneself is beneficial for any excellent mental, physical, and relationship health. Letting go and forgiving oneself can help boost feelings of wellness and improve self-confidence. The act of forgiveness can also positively impact physical health.

Have you heard the expression “he has eaten up with hate”? Science and the Bible tell us that unforgiveness can manifest itself negatively in our physical bodies. If we can’t forgive ourselves, then it will be impossible to forgive others.

Here’s another one- have you heard the expression keep your opinions to yourself? That is the philosophy that many individuals are raised under. As a result, individuals may become fearful of what others think of them. Therefore, to avoid conflict, they express no personal opinion. To avoid upset, they learned to keep their opinions to themselves. The problem with this approach is that one forgets what is important in their own life and tends to live ‘through’ other people’s experiences.


Love yourself- Do Things That Make you Happy

Someone once said, ‘you were not born to live just to pay the bills then die’. No, you are more highly valued than that!

If you are happy, you will be more productive, motivated, and fulfilled. So when the alarm sounds, you will bounce out of bed in the morning, ready to begin ad brand new day with its challenges. However, if you are unhappy, you will be more likely to pull the covers over your head when the alarm sounds because you can’t face your day.

If you are happy within yourself, it will become self-evident. You will automatically spread positivity, love, and joy, and Others will notice and want to be around you. After all, who wants to cosy up to a grump? Mindfulness and self-compassion work together to help you cope with life stressors.

Neff rightly sums up the unity between self-compassion and mindfulness with the flowing quote-


‘mindfulness is concerned with the functions of “the mind,” and self-compassion is concerned with “the heart.” Thus, mindfulness brings the elements of awareness, a no judging attitude, and reflection. At the same time, self-compassion is a caring guide for individuals to integrate needed personal changes while maintaining a positive attitude toward the self’ (Neff 2003).

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Have you applied the two elements of mindfulness and self-compassion in your life? If you have, how did it impact you? Let me know, and I would love to hear from you in our comments section below.

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CITATION

Neff, C. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a HealthyAttitudeToward Oneself.https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/publications/ Psychology Press


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👱‍♀️Thank you for visiting me here and being part of this community! This Blog is growing and developing, so keep an eye out for updates. If you've enjoyed this article, Come back here as I post regularly. If you want my article to come right, you're in your inbox- follow and subscribe! Check out my menu bar above; there, you'll find the online courses about mindfulness masterclass that will help you begin your mindfulness journey. EXPLORE THIS SITE for videos & blogs about health and wellbeing and THE Mindfulness Master Class Course is found at www.moonrosemindfulness.com Moon Rose Mindfulness is a community for those who aim to learn how to create an independent, meaningful, and healthy lifestyle. If this post was helpful to you, I would love to hear your story - so please leave your comments. Feel free to contact me if you need support or share any thoughts you may have - we are on this journey together through life. 👱‍♀️Thank you for visiting me here and being part of this community! This Blog is growing and developing, so keep an eye out for updates. If you've enjoyed this article, Come back here as I post regularly. If you want my article to come right, you're in your inbox- follow and subscribe! Check out my menu bar above; there, you'll find the online courses about mindfulness masterclass that will help you begin your mindfulness journey. EXPLORE THIS SITE for videos & blogs about health and wellbeing and THE Mindfulness Master Class Course is found at www.moonrosemindfulness.com This is a community for those who aim to learn how to create an independent, meaningful, and healthy lifestyle. If this post was helpful to you, I would love to hear your story - so please leave your comments. Feel free to contact me if you need support or share any thoughts you may have - we are on this journey together through life. I look forward to your next visit here and remember-- LIVE in HOPE, FAITH & LOVE because Your Best Life is Yet to Come! Paula is an Ordained Minister, Blogger, Podcaster, Course Creator, Published Author and has a Master of Arts in Counselling and many other qualifications and a lifetime so, I have heaps to share with you. 👛SHOP WITH ME: CLICK ON LINKS ETSY: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/PaulaRoseStudio?ref=shop_sugg AMAZON Affiliated SHOP:Shop | Moon Rose Mindfulness for Wellbeing & Happiness | United Kingdom 👱‍♀️ CHAT WITH ME 📸 Instagram: paularoseparish2020. FOOD for your Soul- www.paularoseparish.com HEALTH-HOME-PLANNING www.moonrosemindfulness.com MY VIDEOS on YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvdQ4NPTNfXSnwd3pimPh0g FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/paula.roseparish.5/ PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/proseparish/_created/ LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paula-rose-parish-6320a6181/ Listen to PAULA'S BLOG PODCASTS https://anchor.fm/paula-rose-parish

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